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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Booze glorious booze
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Booze glorious booze I've invented a new holiday cocktail for you ; half ounce Grenadine 2 tablespoons light corn syrup half cup pure cane (from Hawaii) 2 ounces Jacopo Poli Grappa I it the Braincracker Sweet - drinking of these makes visions of plums put on a burlesque show in your head . Of if that's not your style you can try my original creation the Nogtini - eggnog , vodka , and sour apple hnapps . Sometimes people are all like "40 why are you always trying to invent cocktails you don't even drink so how can you know what's good ?" I submit to you that that is the very reason why I am the perfect person to be inventing drinks - I am not constrained by your traditional views of what tastes "good" or "not disgusting" . Much like robots are the best chefs because they have no sense of taste and Rembrandt was such a great painter because he was blind and had wooden hands . Speaking of , I read an article the other day "900 sexy tips for sexy sexy sexy sex !" and of them was to have "hands free sex" which is exactly what it sounds like . So I thought I'd spice up my sex life and give it a try . I tell you this hands free masturbation ? That's a real waste of time . I think the article could have made it more clear which tips only work when you have a partner . I contacted the author about this and they said masturbation isn't sex so n of the tips applied to masturbation . So keep that in mind when you read those kind of things . I guess these elitist jerks assume there's people out there having sex with each other . As if . I learned a new slang word today - thot . Which is a woman considered to be sexually provocative or promiuous ; a slut or . Where did I learn this word ? From the Cheesecake Factory twitter account . So I am left to wonder . Did the Cheesecake Factory twitter account get hacked ? Did the Cheesecake Factory social media director find out they were going to be let go at the end of the year ? Or does the Cheesecake Factory not give any fucks ? I often wonder what the point of corporate twitter accounts is - there seems to be only the possibility for bad things happening there . Like best case enario is no cares what your dumb corporate tweets are . But there's always the chance that some tweets out something horrible and then people are all up in arms . People talk about the face on Mars but for some reason they never talk about the ass on Mars . They're both leftovers from ages long past when the planets used to make sweet , sweet love to another . But as time passed their bouts of lovemaking became less and less frequent until not ientist generally agree that it's been over 12 million since the last planetary intercourse which took place between Venus and Saturn on Saturn's birthday which was believed to be "very mechanical" and "perfunctory" . I mean after 5 billion it's just hard to get interested in the same partners you know ? I sincerely wish for the universe's sake that a rogue planet shows up to reignite that spark for the planets . Maybe PSO J318.5-22 will join Tinder . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I didn't know 4 Loco had alcohol in it , I thought it was just an energy drink . It would have been funny if I drank those all the time and still considered myself to be a non-drinker . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Well thanks, now I don't feel so bad about how long its been since I had sex, compared to the planets.  
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